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First time mom! Need advise

Hello, my name is Katie and I am 4 months pregnant with my first child. I have read all the books and think I know what to expect. Even
so, I work full time and plan to work as long as possible. I want advise, from
all of you on the message board: First, what caught you by surprise that you
wish you would have taken care of before the baby, or end of your pregnancy?
What problems, set backs, did you not see coming? Most importantly, what are
some things you could have used help with? I have very gracious friends who
want to help me out if I need it, but I don’t know what to delegate. Please
help!

Tags: advise, first time mom

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Permalink Reply by Alicia Jenkins on August 9, 2010 at 9:03am

Katie,
No book can really prepare you for an experience. It involves all of your senses, all of your emotions. I think the hardest lessons I learned were about breastfeeding and daycare.
Breastfeeding is a difficult adjustment, get lots of support if you need it. Have a lactation consultant to speak with if you have things that come up. We think of breastfeeding as this thing that just happens naturally, well it does but, there is a learning curve for you and the baby.
If you are going back to work after baby is here, look into your daycare / nanny options right away. I was on a waiting list from the time I was 6 months pregnant and just got a call about an opening last week. My son is almost 2. It maybe different where you live, I live in the city or maybe you will be at home....

If your friends are willing to help have them "on call" it is hard to know what you are going to need until you go through it sometimes. I found having extra food on hand that folks brought by a huge help. After all the family leaves and it is just you and the baby. It is nice to pull something out of the freezer and not have to think about it.

You are probably more prepared than you think. I took the breastfeeding and baby care classes offered by the hospital, it was very helpful. Especially the infant CPR and safety. Good peace of mind.

Good Luck!

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Permalink Reply by Atlanta Moms - Alicia Hagan on August 23, 2010 at 11:43am

Hi Katie.. great questions! I wish I would have asked someone to help with laundry, cooking (even brining prepared meals they made at home), and I should have asked to have someone come to my house to sit with Madelyn for an hour or so, so I could take a shower every day. It's the small things that I needed help with most, but was too stubborn to ask! Good luck and keep us updated!

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Permalink Reply by Desiree Miller on September 2, 2010 at 11:42am

Hi,
My best advice is don't wait until the last minute to get your nursery together. I know several moms who planned to do that in the last month but they went into labor early, or were put on bed rest. Just do it and get excited!
As for help, maybe your friends can set up a schedule now for dinners after the baby comes, etc. You'll be tired and all about the baby--a shower may be a luxury on some days.
Best of luck!
Desiree Miller, Bottles to Britches

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Permalink Reply by Widad Saad on October 18, 2010 at 10:31pm

Hi Katie,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I was in your shoes almost two years ago and I wish I would've asked my experienced friends the same questions you're asking! All throughout my pregnancy, I read every single book out there on the topic of pregnancy and childbirth. I've been around children ever since I was young, babysitting since I was 11 and I had two younger brothers whom I always took care of... so it never even occurred to me to read anything or even ask people on tips of what to do AFTER you give birth... after you go home... all of that. Basically, read anything you want to read now, take any classes you're interested in now & do any research on baby gear now because it will be difficult to do so after the baby arrives. Breastfeeding was really my only challenge; having a strong support system and a lactation consultant help you in the hospital and be a phone call away is very necessary. I kept thinking it was supposed to come naturally... and it's not that it doesn't but it may happen right away or it might take some time. Just keep an open mind and an open heart with everything that comes your way. Enjoy every single second even the night time feedings because they grow up so fast!

Also, the one thing that really caught me by surprise was the surge of hormones that took over after I delivered.... and how they affected my mood and my view of certain people and certain things. I'm typically a very calm person who thinks through everything--but it was like a completely different side of me emerged...if this does happen, just know that it's temporary and nothing is worth getting upset over. Take a look at your baby and know that he or she is your most important priority and that will be enough to make you forget.

And most importantly, sleep when your baby sleeps! If you feel that housework MUST be done, at least sleep mostly when your baby sleeps then... because it's so difficult to take care of your baby when you're exhausted.

Good luck with everything!